12/30/2013

Dear James Franco,

Do you ever find yourself becoming overwhelmed by very simple tasks?

Just now, I began attempting to get ready for the day (yes, it's 2 pm - stop judging me, Franco). Like any normal human, I began by trying to pick out a pair of socks. However, unlike other humans, I ended this production by standing in the middle of my room, clutching seven cardigans to my bare chest and screaming, "DAMN THE MAN! SAVE THE EMPIRE!" 

I know you can relate, because you get me. 

...Or maybe not. Your morning selfie today on instagram looked blissfully relaxed. 

You jerk. 

Your friend,

Mandy

12/29/2013

Dear James Franco,

Today at work, I turned a corner and found this. 

(Possible hashtag: #junk)

I thought you'd probably like to see it, based on your love of art. And your love of mannequins. 

No sign of your red line spirit animal lately, but that might be because I'm currently on the bus.

Also, it's snowing. BLERGH. Winter. You KNOW how I feel about this. However, it DOES mean I get to wear mittens (!!!) which in turn means I am about as adorable as one of your eighteen pet cats right now. I'm just saying.

Your friend,

Mandy

 

12/29/2013

DearJames Franco,

This is belated, but the other day, I was wearing a Santa hat when I got on the train. This dude - also wearing a Santa hat - looked over at me and was like, WHOA. NO. I AM THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO WEAR A SANTA HAT ON THIS TRAIN. 

So I took his picture because I was all, I can wear whatever I like. Because Franco.

I felt like it was important to share this with you because of your newly-proclaimed love of selfies. And also because Santa, and tis the season even if not really. 

SELFIESSSSSSSS!

Your friend,

Mandy

12/24/2013

DearJames Franco,

So sorry about the lapse in letters! I've been working every shift ever lately and have had no time whatsoever for frivolity. Or fun. Or whims. 

...Just kidding. Don't worry, I've made it a point to enjoy plenty of whims! After all, a life without whims is like a life without limbs. And I am both whimsical AND limbsical. 

Here is a non-limbsical thing waiting for the CTA red line. It is a really fat one-legged pigeon.

It reminded me of you, of course; ever since we discussed the fact that a well-traveled, fat, one-legged pigeon is your spirit animal, I can't see one without thinking of you!

...Yes, this entire letter was just to share this picture, and yes, with that whimsical/limbsical nonsense, I think I've proven myself the Queen of Segues.

In response, please include a picture of yourself bowing to my prowess. 

Merry Christmas Eve! :D

Your Friend,

Mandy

12/19/2013

Dear James Franco,

Yesterday, I wore my glasses outside for the first time in months and instantly regretted it. When one wears glasses outside in Chicago in winter, and then goes inside an establishment, the lenses of the eyewear immediately fog up, thus becoming completely ineffective as vision assistance devices.

Anyway, I sent out my frustrations to the universe, of course, by way of shaking my fist and cursing the heavens. I'm pretty sure you heard me, because today you posted this on instagram:

Solidarity.

Best. Penpal. Ever.

Your friend,
Mandy

12/18/2013

Dear James Franco,

Today I took your advice to always strive to create, and applied to be a fiction writer at a romance novel company.

This is either the highest or lowest moment of my life.

Regardless, thanks!

Your friend,
Mandy

12/17/2013

Dear James Franco,

Have you ever seen how weird blond guys look if they also have blond eyelashes?

Don't you think they should wear mascara?

I think so, too.

...Like. It's really weird.

Your friend,
Mandy

12/16/2013.3

Dear James Franco,



This summer, my friend Sarah and I decided the face you make in 127 Hours might be your o-face.

Thoughts?

Your friend,
Mandy

12/16/2013.2

Dear James Franco,

Have you ever drank boxed Chardonnay while relaxing in a bubble bath in the middle of a Monday afternoon?

I thought so.

I've got you pegged, Franco.

#thingswehaveincommon

Your friend,
Mandy

12/16/2013

Dear James Franco,

Yesterday, you reached one million instagram followers. Whoa! Pretty big deal! Way to go!

In comparison, I ate two packs of ramen noodles and watched a marathon of Bar Rescue. So, you know. Our lives are pretty parallel.

Your friend,
Mandy